I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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