Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
