Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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