I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize