strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
