i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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