My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
