I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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