he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
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I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
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I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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