STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I fill condoms, not promises.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Randomize
