what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
