After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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