someone threw a dead crab at me
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
