Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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