I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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