whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
