No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
