like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
