i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
