Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
