Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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