fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
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There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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