I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
