I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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