After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize