Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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