Can Purell be used as lube?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
