we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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