the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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