There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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