um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize