OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
