Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize