i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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