**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.