I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
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I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
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You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?