Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me