I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
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if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
3pm strippers are depressing
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize