i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
