Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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