You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
