I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
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DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize