True but thats because hes a fetus.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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