Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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