i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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