pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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