sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
