WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls