I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
All the doctor said was why
Randomize