oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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