My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
