And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
