Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
