I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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