At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I still have a little drunk in my system
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
