I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
