a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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