that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
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well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
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Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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