It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
