omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize