he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
