So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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