let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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