she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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