farters have to be the big spoon...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize